Some Days Are a Total Waste of Make Up

• It took me a good 20 minutes to back out of my parking space this morning. Snow cramps my style.
• I flinch and close my eyes when the car in front of me splashes water or chunks of slushy snow on my windshield as if it’s going to smack me right in the face.
• However, when a little black Ford Fusion driven by a blonde girl texting on her iPhone cuts you off and you have to slam on your breaks and the snow from the roof of your car falls onto your windshield and blocks the entire thing and you have to stop your car in the middle of MacArthur Blvd, during lunch hour, and get out and scrape it off, the danger of that slush actually making contact with your face is VERY real. Take my word for it.
• Contradiction : When a Taho is barreling toward my back end at lightening speed, I yell “Get off my a**…this is TEXAS. We don’t know how to drive in this crap!!” On the other hand, I yell “Oh My GAAAWWWW!!!! MOOOOOOVVVEEEEE!” to the car driving 10 mph in front of me.
• I had a lovely conversation with a lady at the post office regarding my sequined Converse sneakers. She asked if I had made them as an art project. Lady, I’m incapable of cutting paper in a straight line. I would have slit my wrists before I sat down and stitched sequins on not one, but two size 8 sneakers.
• I need to buy stamps. The only ones available for purchase at the post office had a picture of 2 gold wedding bands tied together on a white satin ribbon. GAG. Thanks, but I’ll wait until you’re back in stock on the Bart Simpson ones.
• I ordered a flapper dress online. That’s right…I’ll be donning a black and gold fringed frock for a ‘20s themed birthday party next weekend.
• It’s annual review time here in the land of arts and crafts. I spend 2 days cataloging all of my awesome accomplishments from the fiscal year 2009 and quantifying contributions to a multi-million dollar business only to look forward to having someone tell me what I need to work on. *sigh*
• I think I figured out why I’m fat. When you throw away a McDonalds cup in the trash can while waiting in the drive through line at Chic-fil-a, there might be a problem.
• I saw an African American woman driving a PT Cruiser with an African American antenna head on it. The head had on a ‘do rag and sunglasses. I wonder if she has any white friends.
• A tree broke from the weight of the snow last night. It was right outside my window. A woman screamed. I laughed.
• That’s all. Happy Friday. Go to Michaels and have something framed.