"People who are unhappy hate to see people who are happy. You are happy. Amen."
These sweet words were written on a sticky note that was left in my bag for me to find one day when I came home from my precious Aunt Ruby’s house. I’ve got the note on my refrigerator so I never forget to remind myself of this truth. The people in my life, whether close or distant, have always seen in me a confidence and the ability to be positive and optimistic in any situation. I’ve always enjoyed hearing that I’ve brightened someone’s day or enabled someone to see the good in a situation rather than dwell on the negative.
Recently, it seems that I’ve been surrounded by people who, for whatever reason, can’t seem to be happy for me right now. I understand it’s hard to be genuinely happy for someone else, especially when things aren’t falling into place. For this reason, I do not fault them. That being said, to the people who I’ve offended when I gave a positive (and apparently sometimes over-the-top) answer to “how are things with you”, I am truly sorry. My intent was never to hurt you or “rub it in” by telling you things are going well for me.
I spent most of Saturday upset to the point of tears when my character and personality came under attack by someone I’ve known for quite a while. While I understand there was a point to be made, there was perhaps a less hurtful way to go about it. I make no apologies for the way that I am. My parents make no apologies for raising an independent, strong daughter.
The facts of my life are these : I’m 26 and single; I have a wonderful relationship with my parents and extended family; my family and I are in good health; I have a fabulous job that I love and happen to be good at; I have a new car that I love; and I have a close community of the best friends anyone could ask for.
I don’t need to be pushed into a relationship with someone I’m still figuring out if I have anything in common with. It’s not a bad thing to take things slowly. When I’m asked how my dating life is going, an answer in the ilk of “great, I’m not sure if I’ll see _____ tonight, but things are going well” is not an incorrect one. The fact that I may not have the best dating advice, a result of my poor choices and limited dating experience, does not make me judgmental and insensitive to those who have more invested in their current, maybe unpleasant situations.
No member of my family has never deceived or intentionally hurt me or any other member of our family. My parents and I have a very open relationship that I’m able to appreciate now. There has never been a major, life-changing event in my immediate family except maybe the addition of a new dog. For this, I am so grateful. I could never have fabricated a family with 2 more supportive, trusting parents and 3 siblings with better values and closer relationships. Sure, we all have our quirks……who doesn’t? We love each other and that’s all that matters.
I have been blessed with the strength to take my career into my own hands and, while the people around me could never understand my decision to leave Neiman Marcus, I couldn’t be happier with my decision. With the knowledge that I am better than the job I was able to do and the faith that, with the Lord on my side, I was bigger than the circumstance that made me so miserable, I set out for bigger and better things. I have started in a position with a company that my peers would never have put me in, and frankly, neither would I, but I am able to do what I always knew I could. I know that, at least for the time being, I am meant to be a Buyer. Michaels is providing me with the opportunity to prove that to the world and, most importantly, to myself. I’ve learned that my work does not have to control me and become who I am, but can be an added joy in my life. Furthermore, I enjoy coming to work in the morning….as I should.
Lastly, each of my friends has been put in my life for a very different reason than all others. Each one provides me with encouragement, sisterhood, and support that I’d be lost without. They don’t share my flaws with others, rather they offer me support in working through things that are tough for me. They don’t judge me. They don’t force me into things that I know are wrong for me. They don’t put words in my mouth then use them against me. Lastly, and very importantly, they don’t call me names or attack me for who I am.
“…For of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” This statement is made twice in the Bible – once in Matthew 12:34 and again in Luke 6:45. My heart is so overfilled with joy from the blessings in my life, that there is no room for despair. Even the worst thing I deal with during the day pales in comparison to the trials some are going through. For this reason, I have no right to focus on them, but only to rejoice in the Lord for the blessings He so graciously continues to give me. His mercies are new every morning. Praise Him for His faithfulness.
My attitude does not make me fake. My inability to relate directly with hardship does not make me unable to empathize. My words are not judgmental. I truly am a simple person and, I believe, happier for it. If this is perceived as a façade of perfection and strength, I’ll apologize for your jealousy, but for nothing else. Rather, I’ll invite you to share in my joy as I share in yours.
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